In my teens I was the victim of a most heinous crime.
Nonchalantly leaving my much beloved green DM boots by the back door one night, I awoke to find them strewn across the lawn and partially masticated. It seems our local vixen took exception to my fashion sense and attempted to rectify the situation by rendering said footwear stinking and unwearable.
As a result this notice in the local newsagents struck a chord...
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