Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Decorating

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Lots of people opt to do their own decorating rather than pay for a professional. Armed with some basic knowledge I tackled the kitchen today.

Rule 1;
Use good quality paint and once opened stir well in a figure of 8 motion until thoroughly mixed, or in my case, find a grotty old tin in the back of the garage, ignore the lumps and crusts lining the inside, give it a quick swizzle with the end of a pencil and get cracking.


Rule 2;
Decant a small amount into a paint kettle with a handle to make it easy to carry with you as you move around the room...or, pour into a cereal bowl and hope you don't drop it.


Rule 3;
Use a good quality brush to cut in around the edges then use a roller to cover the large areas quickly and evenly or if you prefer my method, just use a rickety brush for the whole lot - it'll part ways with the handle half way through and you'll have to finish the job by clutching the metal ferrule and swiping at the wall with the bristles. This method also results in the added bonus of leaving you with a hand that has stiffened into a permanent crabs claw.


Rule 4;
Always apply 2 coats, or in my case, stop there, hope you haven't set off an old back injury too seriously, hobble to the bath like Quasimodo, run near scalding water and crack open the Voltarol Extra Srength.


Daddy would be so proud!

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